Who Are You and Why Did You Come Here

It looks intimidating when I say it that way, doesn't it? I know, I know. I promised a hurricane blog. But it's not what you are getting right now. I am not usually in control of the things that sit and collect in the drainpan of my mind, and this is what is uppermost right now. I've spent some time the last month or so evaluating a lot of things about myself. Things I like, and things I don't like. Things I want to change, things I want to keep, things I want to do better, things I want to discard. I won't bore you with the lists. On a whim the other day, I looked at my blog stats. I nearly fell 'out da chair!' There's a lot of people cruisin' through here and taking a look at my life. I had to stop and really think for a bit if it was something that I was entirely comfortable with. It's not like I'm demure or even cautious. I just kind of lay everything out there like I haven't a care in the world about it, like all the world wants to see my random stuttering waltz through this life, and the things that I stop to study a little more closely along the way. And for a time I wasn't sure that I was entirely comfortable (my friend Melissa says it feels like someone looking through her underwear drawer) with the idea of random strangers reading my words and doing who knows what with them. I thought again about password protecting the site and just screening the people who want to "know" me.

But I'm not going to do that, and I'll tell you why.

For all the random chaos and extended silliness that gets pecked out on this keyboard and translated to your screen, there is the occasional pearl. And I have to believe that for those who stumble in here and see the pearl, whether they choose to come back or not, those words were meant for them even if that was not what intended I for them. Mostly I am just a random, slightly goofy, extremely opinionated, open hearted with shy tendencies, right-wing, book wormish flake, but at the core of me is something that is way more, and when that person peeks out the absolute truth is, I want someone to be there to see her, and because I believe in purpose and design, I believe that the people who see that glimpse were meant to see it.

Case in point: I received a comment shortly after my vacation from the niece of one of the sistahs I remembered during the blogathon. She doesn't know me; doesn't know I blog, but she got here somehow and now she knows that I loved her aunt very deeply, and that I have not forgotten, nor will I that she was a person of worth. And I believe, that she was meant to see that and to know that because she needed it right then. The five hundred other people who came in that day aren't important, but she....she got to see something that had meaning to her, and if she never comes back, that is enough.

So I will continue to talk and frolic and let my thoughts wander forth and yon because that is what I do. I won't password protect, and I am not going to change my style or my forum, because that would defeat my purpose. I will place my trust in the promise that no permanent harm will come to me while I walk this walk of faith. I recently made the comment to someone that we simply cannot live life based on all the what-ifs. I can't do it here either. What-if someone saw me? What-if someone tried to find me? What-if....what-if?

What if I let fear silence me?
What if I let someone not hear something important I had to say?
What if what I might have said would have made all the difference to you?
what if..........

I don't have an inflated sense of importance, but I also can't deny the occasional flashes of the big picture that tell me for right here and right now, this is exactly what I should do and say, without fear.

Which leads me back to my initial question. If you never comment again, if you never weigh in with another word or opinion, now is your chance.
My name is Dana, and I blog for me, but somehow it turned into something much bigger then that. I'd like to meet you and get to know you better, or simply to shake your hand and thank you for stopping by.
and you are............

Comments

[Sharmayne]

Hi Dana, I am Sharmayne from the UK. I was 'googling for snips of ideas for my new tattoo and noticed one with a butterfly and the breast cancer sign, (I want flowers and the breast cancer sign.. (mastectomy and chemo last year, all clear now))clicked on it and here i am... Wow!! great site...I should have been in bed hours ago! look forward to comming back as i have only seen a small amount of your great work. take care.:-)

[justwhen]

Hi--I'm "Justwhen." I came to see your blog tonight because I just read your comment at Twisted Cinderella's blog party, about being vegetarian for a year but having a spouse & kids who aren't...and it making dinner interesting. I can relate! I have a similar situation, with my husband and child...I'm vegan, they're omnivores...and still, we go on...

Interesting similarities & differences...my husband is a cancer survivor...then again, we're members of a Unitarian Universalist congregation, and he's an atheist and I'm an agnostic...and I would have to say my politics are not right-wing at all.

But I like to think that all people everywhere have the same basic needs and dreams, and I'm happy to make your acquaintance. Congrats on going veg and good luck with the mixed family situation. May you and yours be happy and well! :)

[Beverley]

Hi, My name is Beverley. I have six children (two with special needs) and I live in the UK. I came here following an internet search looking for the words to "That's my King" I found them. That was HOURS ago (just before I was going to bed!) and I'm still priviledged to be here. You have quite a site! Now I'm desperately trying to hear God's voice and challenge my unbelief.

[Teri]

Um, I am not sure how I got here just now. o_0 I clicked checking the link for you I put on my blog (duh, I just had that idea!) I musta bumped something accidentally... I am always doin' that (clumsy, even online!)

Originally, I got here from meeting you on sucky ol' Shanga... Your nick intrigued me. Then your story blessed me and I been yo' frand eversince! (((MWAH!)))

[Cathy]

I got hooked on your blog during Project Blog. Smart, funny and sassy. Keep it up!

[Kim]

Hi, I'm Kim. Kelly and Misty steered me toward your blog the day before your blogathon. I'm so glad they did! Your story is inspiring and I enjoy reading your blog.

[Jamaine]

Jamaine, high school best friend of that hairball you call "husband". Current resident of the great state of New Jersey ::gak:: and I come here to keep tabs on you guys from afar. That and to hear what is going on in that head of your and to see those lovely girls you've been blessed with.

Oh, and the remember me feature button remembers me. Hah!

[Glenn]

I come here for a few different reasons.

I originally started reading to find out more about the psyche of women... until I realized that you are unlike just about any other woman I know. So much for that idea.

I come here because it's interesting reading...

I come here because I'm at least as big of an internet junkie as you are...

I come here because I enjoy being a part of your and your husband's lives...

I come here because you are YOU.

[Ellen]

Why do I come here? To get a good laugh (same reason I go to Joanne's!! :-) ), to relish in your little girls escapades (and laugh because I've btdt!) and just to keep up with you!!!!
Hi! I'm Ellen in SE Missouri.... {{hugs}}

[Ann Adamson]

I visit you here because I am your SIS!

Dana, I love your blend of inspiration and big picture views and plain old goofiness. I like to think I'm a little like that too.
I have kept my blog more hidden from the world than you -- because I'm more of a worrier than you.

But - there's my URL! So there.

[Melissa]

Your storm tribute photo was great and I'm loving the colors you have going on now. Makes me drool!

[Steph/Piper T]

Oh my you have a stalker and someone who comes to visit because you have perfect breasts. That's reason enough for me. Swing by not only for an update on your life, but watch this impression my long time friend is making with this medium she has found and dearly loves.

[Di]

Man are you ever popular. Did you know you were going to guilt all these people into saying such nice things about you with that post? ROFLOL. Dana, dear, you are one of a kind. Thanks for letting me come and tease you once in awhile.

[Gene]

Dana, I stumbled across your blog one day completely by accident, back when you opened up the comments to your readers to ask you three questions--absolutely anything. After reading about your story and that of your sistahs, I decided to ask you three 'biggies', and much to my surprise, you took the time to answer my questions in a seperate, lengthy post that was both eloquent and inspiring. I have been coming back ever since. I find your 'pearls of wisdom' at times to be a challenge to my own spirituality, as I seek to strengthen my faith--but I always find comfort and solace in your words. I truly believe that you have been called to a ministry in this world, and your words are meant to be heard. I've often recommended you're blog to others--and anyone out there with a computer and an open mind and heart can see the wisdom of your words. Thank you for sharing...Gene

[tookshire]

because I don't get enough of you on IMs

[tookshire]

because I don't get enough of you on IMs

[Mari]

I stumbled onto you long ago through
Joanne's blog. You make me laugh and you make me think. I'm so far to the left you'd probably not like me very well, but I enjoy what you have you have to say, so hopefully you'll let me keep reading. It feels kind of funny to "come out" here.

[Maria]

And I still want to read about the hurricane!

[Maria]

Maybe it is their computers b/c remember me works just fine for me ;-)

I am Maria and I read Dana and . . . . .

[AJ]

I only come to read the smarty pants comments from your regularly scheduled commenters.

I'm AJ. And I have nothing funny to say.

;-P

[Still stalkin' Dana]

Ooo. That is purty!

[Jojo]

I come because you make me.

Your remember me button still doesn't work.

Just sayin.

[Dana's stalker]

I read Dana 'cuz I'm her stalker. ;-)

[Becky S]

Yo, if anyone tries to do you permanent harm while you walk this walk, they've gotta get through us first.

[AGK]

Hi, I'm Angela and your comment "remember me" feature doesn't work. I come to your blog to tell you so, and to read to see if you link to me for any reason. Satisfying those needs, I then stick around to see what you have to say. And then I think really hard on what I can say to make you laugh. Today may not be that day. You see, I've ben wounded. A lady looked at me funny and asked me funny about my hair -- all funny like. And I'm so hurt. HURT, I tell ya. In fact, I'm going right back up there to show them your picture so she can see I'm not the only freak in the world. So...anyway :D Smoochie, smoochie!

Oh, did you mean people you've never heard from before?